Power Balance, purveyors of those magical wristbands that people (particularly athletes) believe are imbued with magical powers, filed for bankruptcy protection today, according to a report in the Sacramento Bee. All I can say is, it couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of charlatans!
I won’t go into the copious evidence showing that Power Balance bands are no more magical than the rubber bands cluttering up my kitchen draws. They have exactly the same efficacy – that is, none whatsoever. I won’t rag on their scientifically dubious claims, as they have been so thoroughly debunked elsewhere. And I won’t comment on the silly tests they do to prove the efficacy of their sham bracelets – getting people to believe that they’ve suddenly gained the ability to remain balanced with a foot raised while the person demonstrating this effect subtly changes the angle at which he pushes down on the person’s extended arm (well, I guess I did just comment on that).
But for those of us here in Sacramento (at least, those of us who have bothered to think about it), the news that the company may be facing bankruptcy and (dare we hope?!) liquidation is particularly encouraging. You see, last year Power Balance bought the naming rights to our local basketball arena. And so now, the outdated and rapidly decaying little bandbox, which gained its reputation as ARCO Arena, is known as Power Balance Pavilion. Ugh.
So, even if the company survives its financial struggles, maybe, at the very least, it will have to cancel its contract and our little arena, if and when it again hosts NBA Basketball games for our beloved Kings, can have a name that will not bring embarrassment with it.