Richard Saunders (of SkepticZone fame) tweeted about this today, and I had to check it out. Some Chinese company is selling an Energy Wand/Nano Pen that is “a natural energy generating device – a transmitter of subtle energy or life force (chi or prana).”
Naturally it goes on to string together a series of vaguely scientific sounding words and claims for this piece of nonsense. For example, after stating that the magic wand is filled with "a specific combination of 35 different natural minerals as well as crystals” (so, by the way, is a handful of dirt from my backyard), it states that:
…this specific combination and fusion of mineral elements produces a catalytic conversion of energy, sourcing the Universal Life Force (Zero Point Energy/nano wand), and producing a long lasting natural resonance which has the ability to be transferred to the body, liquids, food and the environment.
Got that? Not only will this toy let you sleep better and overcome various maladies, it will have an effect on your hamburger, coke and the trees in your backyard! Wonderful! Amazing! Miraculous!!
But what really got my attention was the following blurb:
Customers who are confused question us daily regarding all the various "wands" now available on the internet. We will offer only this brief yet clear warning: There is deceptive and manipulative advertising all over the internet. You can purchase very inexpensive wands at other sites. However, you do not know how effective the contents are inside of the wand. Buyer Beware! Our ZPE Wands have a 96% to 98% customer satisfaction rate....Enough said.
I love that these shysters have the gall to use the “Buyer Beware” adage to warn customers about “very inexpensive wands” at other sites. That is just so fucking hilarious. Here they are, trying to bilk people out of their hard-earned money by selling them a worthless tube of dirt, and they have the nerve to warn people against cheaper tubes of dirt selling elsewhere.
Ah, a skeptic's work is never done.